[CW03] The Umbrella

Preface

A quick one this week. I drafted an outline for a cool story but I want to have more time on it, so I put it to the side for next week and give you this little tale instead.

Didn’t have time to really refine it, but I think you might enjoy it regardless. I did put a lot of emotion into it and I often see that resonate with others, even if my writing itself isn’t of “high quality”… whatever that means anyway.

The Umbrella

The grating noises of the engine are barely masked by her in-ear headphones, she has to balance damaging her hearing against damaging her psyche. With every sharp turn through these claustrophobic corridors taken brazenly by the stressed bus driver she rocks back and forth in her seat barely holding onto her belongings. She won’t stomach this for much longer but it is only a few more stops. The rain impacting the window next to her reminds her of the treacherous conditions she will have to endure even when she is finally free of this nauseating metal box on her final stretch home.

Home.

Has it ever felt like home? Ever since she moved out she has been searching for home, trying to build it, trying to find it in other peoples houses. It’s irrelevant now anyway, since she just lost her source of income she won’t be affording rent for much longer. The engine noise is unbearable, and her music is interrupted by advertisements what feels like every second second since she couldn’t afford the subscription anymore. She saved every little money she had in the hopes to finally climb out of debt, but that dream has been shattered as well now. She stares out the window watching all the people try their best to navigate the harsh weather as fast as possible, trying to get home most likely.

Home…

Another sharp turn, her bag almost fell down now. Just two more stops… just hold it together for that long… that breakfast was too expensive to loose it now. The rain outside grows more intense. What will she even do when-

“Excuse me?”

Hmm? She removes on of her headphones and looks to the side, an older man tried to get her attention.

“Young miss, are you okay?”

Hmm… what a tough question… “I… The drive has just been a bit rough. But thankfully I’ll soon get off, it will be fine”

“Ah yea, those streets aren’t what they used to be are they? Haven’t filled a single pothole in all my life, and I can tell you it has been a long one” the old man chuckles. He gives her a smile, before taking a seat again as the next corner could easily throw him off his feat.

The headphones goes back on, music turned up just a notch more. She is thinking about what to eat when home… another serving of instant noodles, or another serving of rice. Both easy and cheap, and nutritious enough until the next time she can collect unemployment benefits to stock up on noodles and rice. She unplugged her fridge by this point, saving the power on her bill is more worth it than whatever she could put inside.

The bus takes the second to last stop before she can finally get off… soon she is free of this. Once she is back at her apartment she will first thing take all of the clothes that will inevitably get soaked by the rain and put on what few others she has, layering a few. It is already cold in this heated bus, her apartment must be freezing and she can’t afford to get sick. She can’t afford anything, for that matter. Maybe she should ask a friend to stay at theirs… but she has done that so much, she is likely burdening them. They want their homes to themselves some time surely, after all why else would they have build them…

They are still standing, she looks to the side seeing what is going on. A woman struggles to get her suitcase up the door of the bus. The bus driver has gone out of his seat and through the rain to help her push it over the ledge. He already looks drenched from the five meters he walked from the front of the bus to this middle section. It is finally on board and so is the woman who thanks him. He quickly runs back to the front, outside again because it’s faster, this must have messed with his schedule even more. The doors close, the next station is finally her time to leave.

Despite rocking back and forth, she gets on her feet, putting on her backpack and holding onto a pole near the door for her life, so she can be off as quickly as possible. She pulls over the hood of her hoodie, in the hopes it would at least somewhat shield her hair when she gets outside. Her backpack is already heavy enough… there was no room for a proper jacket, not that she owns one anyway. She got some electronics in the backpack, and it wasn’t an expensive one.. what if they get damaged by the rain soaking through the thin fabric…

“Excuse me?”

Hmm? She removes on of her headphones and looks to the side, the woman from the last stop tried to get her attention.

“Don’t you have an umbrella, or at least a raincoat?”

That would be convenient wouldn’t it… “No, I didn’t fit some in my backpack so…”

“Is it far home for you?”

“It’s a bit of a walk… I’ll be fine though”

Suddenly the woman starts rummaging in the outer pocket of her luggage, barely being able to hold on while the bus continues its journey through the treacherous waters. Before long, she pulls out a little contractable umbrella, small and black with a sleeve on it “Here, take this. My stop is in front of my hotel, I won’t be needing it”. She presents it to her with a smile

“I could never accept that…”

“It’s fine, it wasn’t expensive, I can get another at a shop for cheap or likely even get one from the hotel”

Reluctantly she observes her situation, the rain outside has grown more intense yet again… “I… thank you, thank you very much” she takes the item offered

The bus rolls into station, the doors beep preparing to open. She un-sleeves the umbrella and opens it. She looks back at the woman one more time. “Thank you”

“No problem” she smiles at her.

She gets off with hasty step. The street is trenched and her cheap shoes already fill with water, but the umbrella does its best fighting the rain, keeping her dry at least from her hips up. Step after step, puddle after puddle, she bests the sidewalks. The little ten minute walk from this morning feels like a pilgrimage. After an eternity she finally gets to fiddle her keys out of her backpack, opening the front door of the building and seeking shelter inside. She puts down the umbrella next to a few others in the entranceway, left by her neighbors. A pool forms underneath immediately, the little guy has done good and gets a deserved break now.

Step after step up the creaking wooden stairwell, she drops water from her ankles and her shoes onto them. The stars must hardly mind, they have likely seen many wet steps in the decades since the building had been constructed. The door to her apartment unlocked, she gets to observe the situation inside. Quickly shoes, socks and pants are taken away, exposing her legs to the predicted cold. She can’t afford to put on the heating, so she hastily grabs a pair of leggings and a pair of denim to layer on top of each other. At least she won’t have to wash her shirts or her hoodie. She takes a seat on her couch, a find off the street abandoned by a previous owner. It’s not pretty but it is seating… she needs a break after that journey before making food…

She scrolls on her phone, catching up with what has been burning down in the world today. War, famine, cruelty, politicians, celebrities, gossip, hate. The usual. She doesn’t even know why she bothers to keep up with it anymore, she can’t even donate a few bucks to those children in need in the middle east, she can barely afford food herself. The best she can be happy for today is that her roof isn’t in danger of being destroyed by a foreign power… yet. It’s hard hearing what is said by some leaders in other countries and not worry though. Maybe she should finally make food…

Suddenly the phone in her hand starts ringing.

Instinctively, shocked by the sudden noise, she presses accept and lifts it to her ear.

“Hey, what’cha upto?”

“Huh, oh hey, nothing… laying on the couch doomscrolling”

“Have you been outside today? The weather is horrible..”

“Yeah just got home”

“Oh my god, are you fine? Did you get soaked?”

“No, no I’m fine, I had an umbrella… my shoes are victims to the puddles though…” she chuckles so that she doesn’t sound too concerning

“Oh girl… have you eaten today?”

“Not yet, but I just wanted to make something…”

“Noodles again? Or rice? Or rice with noodles?” she sounds equal part joking and concerned

“I think today I’ll reward myself to some noodles with rice actually”. She can hear a short chuckle on the other end, followed by a heavy quiet

“I’ll be over in five”

“What do you mean? The weather is horrible you just said so”

“Well, you better have some blankets ready then”

“But…” the line goes dark. She had hang up.

What a pain… her apartment is freezing and now she has to get up and get some extra blanket from under her bed. She gets up slowly, putting down the phone on the little improvised side table that is actually just some cupboard she found, left on the floor defying the unused wall mount on its back. The apartment is small and her bed is smaller, so finding anything underneath it shouldn’t be hard right? Well, if she would have kept some order there instead of shoving everything in there it would be. A few things pulled out she does finally find the blanket.. but the place is now even more of a mess… Not much time to clean up though.

Shoving the few things back under the bed makes things at least only just as bad as it was before. She throws the blanket on the couch and quickly grabs the plates scattered around, hides it in the small sink. The tower of cheap porcelain does peak over the rims sadly… revealing her sins. She sighs, before trying to grab some other things from the floor, random magazines previously shoved against her will into her letterbox alongside letters and bills demanding her limited attention. Quickly stacked and put aside on the ground it doesn’t look totally neglected at least…

The door rings.

She goes to answer, or actually just press the button on the intercom. She knows who it is anyway.

The creaking of the stairwell echoes through the hallway.

She stands in her doorframe, awaiting her uninvited guest. Watching down the stairs and hearing the creaks approach.

Finally a head rounds the corner, a smile on it. She comes up the stairs, her feet just as wet as hers earlier. She carries a small plastic bag in her hand.

A quick hug before getting her inside, getting the shoes and socks off of her before she gets sick… she wishes her friend wouldn’t be so reckless… “What where you thinking getting out in this weather… even your shoes are soaked and they are much nicer than mine!”

“It’s fine, they will dry… I think” she crosses her arms, the cold in the apartment seemingly catches up with her. “Might take a while though” a smile again

“So I won’t be getting rid off you any time soon?”

“Nope! hehe”

A sigh

Her friend walks over to the kitchen and puts down the bag. She opens a cupboard looking for plates, finding the last remaining clean ones. “That will do”

She walks up to her, looking over her shoulder.

The uninvited guest pulls out much desired food out of her bag… looks like takeout from the local Vietnamese restaurant that she loves… the heat coming off of it is practically steaming against this freezing place. The aluminum containers are opened, the food removed from plastic containers and put onto plates

She is handed one, and begrudgingly accepts it with an empty stomach

They head to the couch, the blanket over their legs and the plates on their laps

She can hardly resist digging in. She would rather attempt looking modest and reserved, not to concern her friend and look desperate… but it’s hard hiding your true nature from someone close to you… “Thank you, but please don’t do this again”

“Hmmmmmm thanks accepted, but no, I will do this again, this is a threat” she smiles at her

“It really is a threat…”

“How’s it going? Any luck getting better?”

“Didn’t get any new interviews lately… thinking about moving back in with my parents…”

“Not what I asked. Are you getting better?”

She ponders this question… what answer can she expect other than a ‘no’? Her life lately hadn’t exactly been relaxing… although… “I… I guess I went outside today, that’s maybe something…”

“It is!”

“Don’t think I’ll be finding a new job soon…”

“The last one already made you sick enough, you deserve a break”

“It’s not exactly a break though isn’t it? Worrying about money every day…”

Her friend leans against her, almost bringing her off balance, but wrapping her arm around her to compensate. “Still, it’s better than what you had before I think”

“I would have preferred to leave on my own terms though…”

“Sure, but that’s how it is sometimes isn’t it?”

“Thanks for the food again…”

“You’re welcome… but your place is so cold… you need to repay me at least a little bit”

This catches her off guard “uhh, wha- what do you…”

“Share some warmth with me!” she puts her plate down on the ground and wraps the extra blanket around the both of them and presses up against her

“ah so that…” she blushes

Her close blanket companion looks off to the side for a moment, in the direction of the entrance, before looking back at her “uhhh I think it will be a while for my shoes to dry I fear…” a compromised smile

“I… I don’t really have anything entertaining around…”

“Don’t need anything besides you, don’t worry” she hugs her tighter under the blanket

She grows concerned… “If you want to stay for the night… I fear the couch isn’t very comfortable…”

“What about your bed?”

Her bed isn’t really comfortable either… but it’s also really small. She throws it a glance before looking back again “It can barely hold one person…”

“Well, it’s really cold anyway, so might as well pack tight, right?”

”… I guess…”

A long day just turned into a longer one… but… her stomach is full and the night won’t be as cold at least… and her hair isn’t wet either… and having an old man concerned for you is also kind of nice, knowing you don’t just miserably blend into the background… and that woman must have arrived at her hotel safely with her luggage, if mildly nauseous from the ride. Rent is due, the apartment is cold, but the food was tasty and every smile shown to her today pulled her out of her head for a while.

Maybe she will have to move back in with her parents, loose the little independence she had worked so hard for. Maybe she will only eat noodles and rice for the rest of the week, and wear the same three layers of clothes to not freeze. Maybe the rain outside lasts the entire day, the entire night, and the entire next day. Maybe she won’t have the energy tomorrow to leave the house, or the day after.

But she was seen, she was helped. She had her friend, and she had her bed. When you fall into such a difficult situation, you feel like you won’t make it out of it anymore. But how many holes have you sat in in your life? How deep have they been or felt at times? How often did you climb out of them, or had someone help you out? I tell you how many.

All of them, all you had been thrown into.

Otherwise, you would still be in these holes instead of your current one, right? And it might feel eternal again, it might feel insurmountable again. How likely is it to be the last though? To be the last hole you will ever find yourself in again? And how likely will it be, that you will look back on it in a few months or years time, just as you are right now with those past ones? How many times have you find the strength to pull yourself out, how many times did you find people or had people helping you out? And I don’t mean the kind of help that saves lives by gifting houses, changing the world, transplanting organs or curing diseases. I mean the kind that saves lives by showing compassion, by asking questions, my showing interest and by listening. The kind that reminds you that the world is cold, but a hug is warm. The kind that shows you that navigating society is difficult, but that a friend laughing can lift your mood. The kind that lets you ignore the last ten rejection emails from various applications, because a friend just messaged you asking about your day? Complimenting the picture you took the other day, and asking if you took more? And even in the absence of that, how many people have you seen today reply to others with words of encouragement, digital hugs or compassion for those that suffer? Nobody has to be nice, nobody has to care about others, anybody could just ignore. It may be even easier to ignore others, to not even bother to digitally send affection or show that you care.

But that’s not what we do, is it?

Life isn’t fair, the universe is cruel.

People are kind.